Unsolved Mysteries: The Koopalings

These are untold stories of Lost Love, the Missing, Fugitives, and Murder. Hello, my name is Smeags. And this is Unsolved Mysteries.

MISSING

SYNOPSIS: It all began in the winter of 1990. The Super Mario Bros. were once again saving the world from the evil clutches of King Bowser. This time, however, things were a little different than before. This time, the mustached heroes faced a new nemesis: The Koopalings. Questions ensued: Who were these new adversaries, and where did they come from? Our top researchers show that these koopalings are in fact the legitimate children of King Bowser himself. The mother has yet to be identified. Why Bowser would not reveal these seven children until that point in time has yet to be confirmed.

However, the Mario Bros. latest adventure wouldn’t the last time we’d see these mischievous children. Insiders have informed us that Larry, Wendy O., Ludwig Von, Morton Jr., Iggy, Lemmy, and Roy were also seen in Dinosaur Land in the Summer of 1991, on a Safari in 1993, when Mario was missing in the Summer of 1994, and in Hotel Mario sometime later that year. This, ladies and gentlemen, is where the mystery really begins.

The Koopalings during happier times.

1995 started out like any other year would, but something was different. The Koopalings were absent from their usual duties of villainy. Not much was thought of it, as they had been on vacation in the Galapagos Islands 3 years prior, according to trusted witnesses. 1996 went by with no sign of the children, as did ’97 and ’98. Many were worried, what had happened to Bowser’s Children? When asked for questioning, King Bowser declined, telling us that he had nothing to say about the subject. The absence grew even as the millennium approached. In fact, it would be a full 9 years until we would see them again.

The summer of 2002 was similar to the past 8 years in that the Koopalings were yet to be seen. Yet something happened that year that would turn this mystery from a minor conundrum into a full-fledged enigma. 2002 was the appearance of Bowser Jr., the newest revealed child of King Bowser (blood samples confirm this assumption to be correct). It was quickly announced by Bowser Jr. himself that Princess Peach was the mother. Headlines ensued, but in the end King Bowser himself revealed that she was not the legitimate mother. The search for the real mother continues to this day.

Later that year, while the Mario Bros. were having their 4th annual Mario Party with their closest friends, they stumbled across a couple of despicable characters who called themselves the “Koopa Kids”. To the party goer’s surprise they all resembled a certain Koopa King, and caused as much havoc and discord as Bowser himself. In fact, Bowser’s fatherhood was again confirmed by blood sampling. And once again the mother is still in question.

The newest additions to the family.

In the fall of 2003, The Mario Bros. set out to once again save the world. They were to take on a new enemy, Cackletta, in the land of the BeanBean Kingdom. As the brothers cornered the fiend to the very ends of the land, they came upon a familiar sight in the dungeons of Bowser’s Castle: the long lost Koopalings. It had been 9 years since their last confrontation, and so many questions needed to be asked. Where had they been? Why show up now? Who were they really working for? However, the confrontation ended as quickly as it had begun, as The Mario Bros. saved the day, Cackletta was defeated, and the Koopalings once again disappeared into the darkness.

It has been five years since their most recent appearance. After all of our evidence was scrutinized, the only connection to Bowser’s making of a new family and the missing Koopalings is Cackletta, the former evil sorceress. Since her defeat by the Mario Bros., informants disclosed the location of her loyal subordinate, Fawful. When we questioned him about the relationship between the two parties all we got was something about mustard, doom, and rage dressing on the salad of evil. Unfortunately, that was where the trail ended. That was where we met our dead end. To this day, the fate of the Koopalings remains an Unsolved Mystery.

What secrets do these suspects hide?

CONTACT: If you have any information concearning the whereabouts of the Koopalings or have any leads that may help in the investigation, please comment in the area below. Your help is unprecedented and could be the key to solving this mystery.